Wow, now that’s a question that very few clients ask – especially if they are lending themselves to this art form for the first time!
Most people focus on reflection and introspection. They try to find the right reasons to enter a studio and go through the transformation. For some it is a token of love and some take it to be the clarion call of boldness and empowerment.
Some just want to get treated like a diva because hey life takes pampering right?
But once they are secure in their minds about the “why”, the logistics crowd in. They realize that they have to strip down – both their clothes and their inhibitions for someone else. And the penny really drops fair and square that boudoir photography may be the trend of the season but the actual experience is anything but frivolous.
And we are not comfortable with that kind of intensity.
So here are some top tips from a shutterbug who has been in the game for well over one and a half decade to all the prospective intimate photography aficionados contemplating the plunge.
You, yes you, need to foster preferably a deep bond and essentially respect and liking for your lens woman. And everything hinges on who you hire.

Don’t Just Love the Art. Love the Artist Too.
Intimate art is live and dynamic and personal. You can buy a masterpiece from a gallery and think nothing about the personality and soul of the painter. It doesn’t really matter. You are being handed the manifestation of the creative process and if the end result pleases you – well you can enjoy it for as long as you want.
But in the instance of boudoir you are an intrinsic part of the creative undertaking. So the glamorous shots that you see adorning websites may not translate into reality where you are concerned if you don’t love the artist who is responsible.
In short, don’t fixate on a photographer without the face-to-face consultation. An adept professional you really like working with is a better option than a maestro who makes you uneasy. Start right and the rest will be in your favor too.
Eat the Frog.
This one is a classic productivity advice and it also applies to your boudoir photography consultation. When you are engaged in conversation with your photographer, lay your cards on the table right away. Give the meeting 15 minutes and push yourself to share your fantasies with the person. Do you want a BDSM angle in your session? Eat that frog and reveal the request. If you can’t, if you feel shy or hesitant…then you are just not vibing with the personality of your lens woman. Keep looking for alternatives.
Get on Social
Collaborating with your photographer is the best way to know her as an individual and an artist. Take time to invite her to a Pinterest private board and build a vision for the session together. The small decisions around the décor, the clothing, the make-up and the ambience will show you loud and clear how the actual shoot will go down.
Can’t agree on anything in virtual? Chances are the shoot will also turn into a setting for covert power play. Run for the hills…you don’t want to mess your special day with the negativity.
I can lecture you till the cows come home on how to hire a boudoir photographer you are comfortable with. But at the end of the day your intuition plays an important role. When your gut says someone is right – go for it. Rationale will only get you so far.
xo, Marisa